Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

sweatpantsThese are my sweatpants that I’ve had since college. I’ve lost more money than the original price of these pants, but I’ve never lost them. I love them.

But there’s a problem…well two actually. First of all, my wife hates them. They’re ratty and stretched out (I was 160 pounds when I got them, and I maxed out at 260). It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t insist on going out in public wearing them on those especially “I don’t give a crap” days, but I do. I just really love them.

The other problem is that they are too big for me now. Like I said, I maxed out at 260, and in the last three months I’ve lost 35 pounds. At 225, they are barely hugging my waste. If I walk too much without pulling them up like Urkel, they will start falling down, but I keep wearing them.

My goal weight right now is 190, and I know that by the these things will swallow me, so I’ve decided that when I reach my goal, I’m going to burn them. It will be a final goodbye. However, until then, I will wear them. Even when I’m 192 and I can use them as a blanket, I will have those babies strapped on with a belt. The night before the sending off I’ll wear them one last time. I might even cry a little.

In college one of my roommates and I had a running joke about a book that I should write one day entitled “Humility and How I Achieved It.” I think the joke started based on a conversation we had on Numbers 12: 3 – “And Moses was very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth.” This was especially funny to us because tradition says that Moses wrote the Torah (first five books of the Bible).

So Cris (and all), without further ado…