But there’s a problem…well two actually. First of all, my wife hates them. They’re ratty and stretched out (I was 160 pounds when I got them, and I maxed out at 260). It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t insist on going out in public wearing them on those especially “I don’t give a crap” days, but I do. I just really love them.
The other problem is that they are too big for me now. Like I said, I maxed out at 260, and in the last three months I’ve lost 35 pounds. At 225, they are barely hugging my waste. If I walk too much without pulling them up like Urkel, they will start falling down, but I keep wearing them.
My goal weight right now is 190, and I know that by the these things will swallow me, so I’ve decided that when I reach my goal, I’m going to burn them. It will be a final goodbye. However, until then, I will wear them. Even when I’m 192 and I can use them as a blanket, I will have those babies strapped on with a belt. The night before the sending off I’ll wear them one last time. I might even cry a little.